Happy Homes and Shattered Flowers
by Raelyn-Mage
Summary: Ludwig is institutionalized. For what? He does not know. And why does everyone keep insisting that Gilbert is deceased. He is right there! Isn't he?     I make no money from this fic and own none of the characters!
1. Ludwig

Hey! It's been too long since I have updated! Sorry! Honestly! Any way, I have been wanting to torture Ludwig for a while. I mean, I have tortured Lovino, Yao, and Ivan. It is Ludwig's turn. I wanted this to be a one shot, but like so many of my one-shots this is outta control! Enjoy!

So, this takes place at an institution for the most part. I am not sure if there will be any pairings. If so, I will update you as it comes along. Ludwig-centric.

Happy Homes and Shattered Flowers

Chapter 1: Ludwig

I stared at my doctor. Honestly, I was confused as to why I was seeing him. Even more confused as to why Gilbert got to sit in on my 'private' sessions with said doctor. I fought to keep my face straight. Smoothing my pants for the millionth time since this session began. My eyes flickered momentarily to my brother, who sat on the corner of the desk instead of the empty chair, then back to the doctor.

"What did you do yesterday, Ludwig?", the doctor asked pen posed over his ever present pad of paper.

"Yesterday? I met Gilbert at the part and we watched the ducks. Or rather," I looked at Gilbert sitting on his little corner, "I watched them-"

"C'mon, West! You couldn't possibly expect the awesome me to sit and watch ducks!" Gilbert objected.

"Brother! You said that you would just sit and NOT interrupt. You said that you would adhere this time! I won't let you have any more beer, if you interrupt again!"

Gilbert looked as if he wanted to object but kept his mouth shut. I stared at him hoping that he would get the message and stay quiet. His red eyes lost a little of their fight and he nodded. I hated myself in that moment. I wanted to apologize but really, it was not my fault!

I heard the doctor scribble furiously on his bland pad of paper. "Ludwig, do you drink?" His eyes lifting slightly to look at me.

"No. I do not. I used to, but now I have to watch Gilbert and make sure that when his company comes over that they don't go on a binge and do something utterly stupid." I heard Gilbert snort.

"Ah. Gilbert. Does he drink a lot?"

"Depends on what you consider a lot, doctor." I shrugged. What really did it matter if he did? He was of age. Barely. But still legal.

"To excess, Ludwig." The doctor's voice evened out.

I sighed, "I suppose so. But it is not often that he does. Just when the rest of the Trio are with him. Other than that it's one or two a day. Why?"

"I am just accessing your stress levels, where Gilbert is concerned."

"He does not stress me any more than any sibling stresses the other. Honestly. My brother is the only person who truly cares about me!" I was becoming enraged that this quack dared to consider Gilbert a strain on me.

"Forgive me. It seems as if I have upset you. It was not my intention. I was, merely, trying to come to a conclusion about your recently behaviors, Ludwig. If you could, please describe Gilbert to me."

I was confused. Why did I need to describe him. He was sitting right in front of him! "Why? He is sitting right in front of you. On the edge of your desk."

There was a moment of silence. The doctor placed his pen down upon his paper and steepled his hands, "Humor me, Ludwig."

I sighed. "He is about five foot nine. He has pale skin and red eyes and silvery white hair. My grandfather called him an albino once." I shrugged.

"His personality?" I noticed that he had started to scribble again.

"Why don't you just talk to him!" I was annoyed and could not help my outburst.

"But West. You told me not to speak." Gilbert mumbled.

"For the sake of my sanity, Gilbert, just answer his questions!"

Gilbert turned to the doctor, "I am the awesome me. My personality is the best that you will ever encounter. I am down to earth and the strongest person ever! Why? Because I am the awesome me! Kesesese."

I fought the urge to roll my eyes at his antics. "Does that answer everything?"

"Not exactly. Gilbert, tell me about Ludwig, please." The doctor scribbled and flipped a page.

"About West? Hmm...he usually keeps me out of non-awesome situations. He can be a priss and can be annoying but he's my little brother. Despite all that, I keep an eye out for him."

"What do you mean 'keep an eye out for him'?"

"Like I said. Listen," Gilbert leaned in close to the doctor and lowered his voice to a normal range, "West can handle himself. But he tends to be more trusting of people than he should be. I mean, seriously, when he was small those fuckers tried to take advantage of him. So it came to be that I am his only real friend. And while I have my Trio, no one can take the place of my West."

"His only friend?" The doctor flipped through his notes and paused. "I see."

I started to open my mouth, but Gilbert beat me to it, " No, people are only around if they need West to protect them or do things for them. Parasites, all of them!"

"West? Why do you call him 'West'?"

"Why not? Every one needs a nickname! Kesesese."

"I see. Ludwig?"

I looked away from Gilbert's laughing face to the doctor's solemn one, "Yes?"

"I am going to be frank with you, okay?"

I scrunched my eyebrows slightly, "Please do."

"You are aware that Gilbert died six years ago and there is no one but you and I in this office, yes?"

I blinked. What a stupid notion of course Gilbert was alive, the doctor had just been carrying on a conversation with him. "What are you talking about? You were just speaking with him."

"Ludwig." The doctor sighed, "I-"

I looked over at the corner of the desk. Gilbert wasn't there. I frantically search around the room. "How did he get out so quietly?" My voice was strained and ragged.

"He was never here, Ludwig."

I stood, "YOU ARE LYING! WHAT DID YOU DO WITH MY BROTHER?" I knew I was being loud. I could not help it. He was lying to me. It was obvious. What was he trying to pull? I slammed my fists against his desk.

"See, West. This is why I told you that we should have left! I told you I am old enough to take you with me." Gilbert whispered in my ear.

I turned to face him. "Gilbert!" I crumbled to the floor and felt his arm around me, "I thought they had done something to you, again."

"No, West, I am here. Do you see now why I have to be everywhere with you? To protect you from the world." He spoke softly in to my hair.

"Yes, only you can protect me, Gilbert."

Faintly I heard a commotion. Looking past Gilbert, I saw my grandfather standing in the doorway looking bereft, "I am sorry, Ludwig. This is for the best."

Startled, "What is?"

I felt the needle and knew no more of that day.


	2. Cold Rooms

Hiya! I am so thrilled with the responses I have received that I am off to a running start on this story! ^^ Thank you guys so much! This really makes my day! This chapter like the last is Ludwig-centric!

Happy Homes and Shattered Flowers

Chapter 2: Cold rooms

I moaned. My head throbbed. I turned my face away from the light. I felt absolutely ill. This did not feel or smell like my bed. Where am I? Where is this? Why was this happening to me?

Slowly, I cracked open my eyes and met a bland grayish white wall. Or at least I think it was. My eyes refused to focus, so really it could have been any color. My chest hurt. I tried to slow my breathing. Stubbornly, my lungs attempted to suck in oxygen rapidly. I laid still for a while until my lungs finally obeyed me.

I noted that whatever I was currently laying on was rough and not to soft. Ugh. I attempted to push myself into an upright position but my arms felt weak and my body heavy. Defeated, I settled for turning my head slowly. I noticed a shape on the floor.

"Gil-bert?" My voice was soft and my throat parched. I wanted to try again but my mouth would not move. I tried to make my eyes focus and my body obey me. In my head, I raged and called his name. Could he not hear me? What if that was not him? I flew in to a state of paralyzed panic.

My heart beat sped up and my breathing with it. Dark spots danced in front of my eyes and I was out again.

When I woke this time, I was on the same slab. My eyes immediately sought out the shape on the floor. Carefully, I lifted myself into a sitting position. My head swam. I closed my eyes and concentrated upon my breathing. Once the nausea had passed, I opened my eyes and slowly made it to my feet.

Steadily I made my way over to the shape on the floor. Kneeling, I moved the blankets that covered it. Pillows. It was a lump of pillows. I frantically search the room.

"Gilbert?" Where was he? Where was Gilbert?

"Brother, this is not the time to be hiding! We are not children." I was met with a cold silence.

"Gilbert? Brother? Please! This is not funny!" I double checked all the corners and under the bed. Rationally, I knew that he could not be hiding here, this room was too small.

I sank to the floor. "Gil...bert, where are you?" I felt tears build up and drop.

I heard the door open. I turned to the door, hoping it was just Gilbert returning. I looked up at the figure. The light cloaked them and made their features hard to see. But I could tell that this was not my brother.

"Who are you?" My throat rasped.

"So you are awake?"

"Yes, I am awake. Who are you? Where is Gilbert?" My throat ached at the abuse.

"I am Sadiq. I am the head nurse for this shift. I just thought that I would come see my newest charge." Sadiq moved out of the light and I was able to see his features. He was tall and lean. Most likely muscled. Shaggy brown hair with barely a wave to it. And sharp, intelligent, but playful golden eyes stared back at me.

"Where is Gilbert?" I wiped my eyes and pulled myself up off of the floor to stare defiantly at Sadiq.

"Here at Shady Fields, we have a very comfortable policy for our charges. The major thing you need to remember is to cooperate with the staff here and you will have no troubles." Sadiq smiled, skirting my question.

I was not fooled. Not in the least. I clenched my jaw and then unclenched. "Where is my brother?" I tried again.

Sadiq moved to the door, "If you follow me, I can show you some of the facilities..." He let the sentence hang.

"Ludwig." I bit out, barely civil.

Sadiq laughed. "I can show you the facilities, Ludwig. Come along."

I followed him. The walls were all a pale blue, not the grayish white that I had first thought them to be. He was rambling on and on. Occasionally stopping to motion to a room. I could care less. I just wanted Gilbert.

I stopped in the middle of the hall. "Please. Sadiq. Where is my brother? Where have they taken him?" My voice cracked and I felt my shoulders shake.

Sadiq turned around to me and stared for a while. Slowly he walked to me, "Listen, kid. Your brother..." There was a pause, "He will be along later. They are processing him!"

I blinked through my tears. They hadn't made him leave me? "You promise?" I felt like a child. Hadn't Gilbert always told me about trusting others? I think that my brother will forgive me this once.

"Yeah, kid, I promise."

He continued my tour. Quietly and content, I followed him. I just had to wait a little while and Gilbert would be here. I did not really care where here was so long as Gilbert was here too. I know it is selfish and childish. But he really is my only friend.

"Hey, kid. This is the last stop. The commons. In here, you are allowed to read, watch t.v., speak with the other charges, or watch the birds out the window." Sadiq walked over to the window, "Down there is the court yard. If you stay on your best behavior, you will be taken out there for some sun and fresh air. And that's it. Any questions?"

I shook my head. I couldn't think of anything to ask him. "Thank you, Sadiq."

"No problem. I will be over behind the window. Just ring the bell, ok?" Sadiq pointed behind him to an adjacent wall with a thick window partitioning this room from the next.

I nodded. "Okay." I watched Sadiq leave.

For the first time in a long while, I felt awkward and alone. I look around the room and decided that the window was probably the best place to sit at the moment. I made my way to the window and sat in the black straight back chair.

"Um...'scuse me." I heard a small voice from my left. I blinked and faced the voice.

"Yes? Can I help you?"

The blond to my left cleared his throat. "I am M-math-thew. And that is my chair!"

I stared at him for a while. This was his chair? If Gilbert were here, he'd ask him where is name was on this chair. I chuckled and stood up. "Forgive me."

He seemed to ignore me and sit in the chair.

"Brother, where are you?" I mumbled turning away from Matthew and the window. I walked to the corner and sat on the floor. Hopefully no one would object to me being here. I leaned my head against the wall and sighed. Sitting there alone made me realize how much I needed Gilbert. I promise I will be better to him when he comes back. I promise.

I watched the others in the room. Matthew had not moved from the window. There was a blond with really bushy eyebrows yelling at another blond. "You stupid git! How many times do I have to tell you that if you sit there, the flying mint bunny will not have a place!"

Flying mint bunny? I did not want to know. I did not care to know. I turned my attention away from them and to the window, that housed Sadiq. I wonder what he was doing. I started to look around again and met a pair of golden brown eyes and a sour frown. Startled, I slammed my head against the wall.

"Who are you?" He asked roughly.

"I am Ludwig and you are?" There was no reason to be rude after all.

"Me? I am Lovino. What did you do?"

I blinked that was a strange question. What did I do? "I am not sure I know what you mean?"

He sighed, clearly annoyed. He sat on the floor in front of me, making me pull my legs up to my chest. "What did you do to get sent here?"

"I did not do anything. I am not sure why I am here. Where ever this is." I answered, wrapping my arms around my legs. I was not sure why, but I was a little afraid of Lovino.

"You are not sure, huh?" He grinned. I decided I did not like his grins. Unlike Gilbert's, Lovino's were scary and promised painful things. "Do you know why I am here?", he whispered.

"No, I do not." After all, I had just met him. How could I?

"They say that I killed my father. They say that I skinned him alive and watched him die."

I nearly choked on my tongue. How was that possible? To skin a loved one and watch them die? I stared at him. I saw his eyes lose the fire they carried.

"But I didn't." He stared straight into my eyes. I wanted to look away. He looked so sad. I believed him. I did not know him, but I believed him. "My brother, Feliciano, did. But no one believes me."

"W-why not?" I whispered back.

"Because sweet, innocent, naive, talented Feliciano would not hurt a fly! So he sobs and tells them that I went nuts and killed him and they believed him. Everyone does. No one believed in me, ever! " He turned his face away from me. But I had saw the tears. I went to reach for him but he had run away.

I felt horrible. I wanted to run after him but I could not bring myself to. I did not know where he had gone. When I see him again, I will apologize. Feeling emotionally drained, I made my way over to the window where Sadiq was. I rang the bell once. Sadiq's head popped up.

"What is it, kid?"

"I want to go back to my room, please."

"One moment." He disappeared for a moment and reappeared next to me. "Let's go."

I followed him back to my room. I did not know why I was here. Could someone have lied on me, like Lovino? Why did the doctor tell me that Gilbert was dead? I frowned.

"Here you go, kid. I won't lock you in. But you can if you want. Someone will be by around dinner time, if you don't come out by then." Sadiq patted my shoulder and turned to silently go back the way that we had come.

I locked the door. Slowly, I went and sat on the floor against the wall parallel to the door. I did not understand any of this. I did not understand why my grandfather sent me here. I did not understand the other 'charges'. I did not know understand why I needed a nurse. I was not sick. Why was Gilbert taking so long?

"Brother, please hurry back." I whispered. I was met with silence again. Hugging my knees, I cried.


	3. Silence

Hiya! You guys! ~happy wriggle~ I am so gonna need a beta if this keeps up! ~laughs~ I got a lot of awesome comments! And even though I can not answer all of you questions without spoilers, I will do my best to answer them in the story.

Happy Homes and Shattered Flowers

Chapter 3: Silence

There was a light rapping on my door, then the sound of keys turning in the lock. I had not realized until that moment that I had fallen asleep. Making a mental note to wash my face before I left the room, I lifted my head slightly and stared as the door opened.

"Gilbert?" I rasped. My throat still had not recovered from whatever happened to me earlier.

"No. I am Heracles. Sadiq told me that you were holed up in here, before he left." The new man drawled slowly. His voice was a thick monotone and it made me drowsy listening to him. "Dinner will be served soon. Please come to the dining hall." He turned and left. The door way was flooded with light that made my eyes hurt.

I slowly pulled myself off the floor. My body popped and cracked. I noted that sleeping and or sitting on the floor for elongated periods of time was not nice to my body. I groaned. My throat protested heavily. I looked around the room. Still empty. No Gilbert, just me.

Sadiq said something about processing. I wondered what it was. What kind of processing did they need to put Gilbert through? I made my way to the sink and washed dried tears from my face. I wanted to look in the mirror, but I had never liked what looked back at me. I dried my face and avoided the reflective surface.

Slowly, I made my way to the dining hall. I looked around for a clear table. I looked for Lovino, perhaps I could sit with him. My luck was never that good. I shuffled forward and sat next to Matthew. The blond looked at me. His eyes, I noted, were a dull blue almost faded to purple. I averted my gaze.

"Why are you sitting there?" His voice was different from earlier. Harder somehow.

"It is the only open seat." I mumbled, not looking at him.

I could feel him staring at me. I tried not to care. It was hard not to look back at him. I tried to concentrate on the scratched table in front of me.

The food was served. I suppose is was some sort of meat and potato mixture. I poked at it with my fork. I couldn't help but think that Gilbert wouldn't eat this slop. Of that, I was certain.

"It's the special here. Not as good as a hamburger but if you pretend really hard, it could pass for it. I mean, if ya don't look at it and all." Matthew said.

I wanted to look at him. Instead, I poked the 'meat'. Maybe it would leap up and eat the fork. I squinted at it. Did it jiggle? I poked it again. It did. This 'meat' was part jello. I frowned.

"Ya know, your supposed ta eat it. Not poke it!" Matthew laughed. I know that I had just met him. But this accent that he was speaking with was nothing like what I'd heard from him earlier.

I turned my head towards him, "What is your name?"

He laughed. It was loud and boisterous. His eyes sparkled and his cheeks dimpled slightly. He reminded me slightly of Gilbert. "Name's Alfred! Alfred F. Jones!"

I was taken aback. But I was not really surprised. I mean he did not sound like Matthew. I cleared my throat when I realized that we was staring at me expectantly, "Ludwig."

"Well, Ludwig! It's great to meet ya!" He exclaimed happily and went back to eating, more like shoveling, the jiggling meat and paste down.

I tried to eat it. I did. But it was terrible. It was bland and jiggled. Ugh. I could just stop myself from gagging. This was not happening. It was some form of torture! I looked around the room and watched in horror as everyone else ate this...this slop.

I felt an elbow. I looked over at 'Alfred', "Yes?"

"If you don't breathe and just swallow, it goes down okay."

I nodded. And I did try, but in the end I couldn't get past a few fork fulls.

After dinner, I excused myself and headed back to my room. Everyone else shuffled into the common room. I was in no mood to socialize. I was still waiting for Gilbert to get back. I had no idea how long processing took, but this was getting ridiculous. Besides, what if Gilbert got to my room and I wasn't there?

I hurried to my room and throw open the door. "Gilbert?"

There he sat on my bed. Sullen and quiet, but there he was! I ran to him. I was trying to contain myself. But I was so happy to see him. I'd missed him terribly. I knew that it was just for several hours, but it was the loneliest I'd ever felt.

I stood in front of him. Memorizing every detail of his slouch and frowning face. From the way he glared at me, to the way he crossed his arms and leaned against the wall. I was not sure why he was upset, but I was sure he'd tell me soon. Perhaps, he, too, did not like how long processing took. Ot he was pissed that I was not here waiting for him.

"Gil? What...what's wrong?"

"What's wrong? You left me, Ludwig! You left me in that dark room and went to have fun with that blond! How am I supposed to be there for you, if you leave me behind?" Gilbert looked away from me.

I stared. I had not left him anywhere. What dark room? What fun? I was confused, again. But I was becoming accustom to the feeling. "What do you mean? I did not leave you. When I woke up, you were not here. I was alone in this place. Brother, please. Look at me."

Gilbert's eyes stubbornly stayed turned away from me. His body rigid. I'd never known him to be so angry. Well, not at me. I felt tears began to form. "Gil, big brother, please." I dropped to my knees and buried my face in his lap, "Please."

I could feel him tremble, "Lud, why? Did you not see me? I was lying on the floor where they threw me after you were put here."

I could barely breathe. On the floor? That was impossible. I searched the room high and low. I did not see him at all. I did not find any trace of him. How could I have overlooked the most important person in the world? I sobbed. The tears ran hot and scalded my cheeks, "I am so sorry. I did not see you. I-I.."

I felt his hand smooth the hair on the back of my head. "Ludwig, what did they tell you? What did they give you?"

I barely raised my head to stare at him. "G-give me?"

"You did not take anything, did you?" Gilbert's red eyes blazed down at me. I thought furiously over the day. I shook my head.

Gilbert stared down at me. "So, West, where are we?" He ran his long pale fingers against the walls. I could see his distaste in his eyes.

"Shady Fields. I think it's some sort of institution...maybe." I was unsure exactly what this was. I was sure however, that the other charges were not normal. Not in the least.

"Institution? A fucking institution!" Gilbert clenched his jaw and slammed his fist onto the wall. "Do they think you are fucking nuts?" I did not know what they thought of me, so I quietly watched him through my tears. "See, this is why...this shit here, is why I told you not to trust anyone! Motherfuckers!"

"H-how was I su-supposed to know that grand-father would s-send me h-here?" I asked. It was hard to breathe. My grandfather had sent me here. Did he think I was like the others here? Did he think that I was crazy? That I was mad? I shook my head against the thoughts. Tears flowed harder. HE COULDN'T! He couldn't, right?

"Get off the floor and sit up here with me. Your knees have got to hurt." My knees did, in fact, hurt. I pulled myself up on the bed and leaned bodily against my brother's thin shoulder. "You thought that it would do you some good not to listen to me, West. You thought for once the world was a good and peaceful place. Where you could be happy and content and listen to what other's told you, and nothing bad would ever happen. Didn't you?"

I closed my eyes. The tears had started to slow. I frowned. My breathing was becoming normal. "I just thought that, maybe it wouldn't hurt to listen to him for once. He was, also, supposed to be looking out for me, Gilbert."

"And what am I? Dog slop?"

"No! I just thought that maybe this once...someone else could take the burden off of you. You have always been my protector. Even when we were little. You have always protected me from the world. I just wanted you to be able to rest..without worrying." I opened my eyes to stare at my hands. I could feel his eyes watching me. I hated it! I hated that I was so weak without him! "One day, Gilbert. I am going to be strong...And then I will take care of you!"

Gilbert's laugh filled the room. "First off, West, when you don't allow me to to my job as your awesome big brother, it makes me worry. Secondly, stop being so hard on yourself. And last of all, I will always be stronger, because I am awesome! Kesesesese!"

"Gilbert, please don't leave me. I hate being here alone. It was so dark and cold." I sniffled. The damn tears had just stopped!

I felt his arms circle me. "West, I will never leave you. I promise! You and I are always going to be together. Always." His warm breath tickled my ears, and his long fingers dried my face.

I leaned in to him. For the first time in a long time, I relaxed. Gilbert always had that effect on me. "Ya know, West. This cold ass room is cramping my style! We're gonna have to find a way out of this place."

"We are?" I did not know why I was shocked. I mean, this was Gilbert, of could he wanted out. But so did I, this time.

"Hell yeah, we are! Trust me, West. This time when I say run with me, ok?" He pulled my face up to meet his.

My cheeks flushed. I couldn't help it. I wanted to pull away, but I was captured by his eyes. I could only nod dumbly. But had I been able to think and speak, I would have told him that this time, I would follow him to the ends of the universe. He leaned in slowly, I felt my eyes drift closed. The over head lights went out as his lips where centimeters from mine. I could feel his breath, for Bob sakes!

"LIGHTS OUT!" Heracles called.

"Maybe next time? Right, West! Kesesesese" Gilbert laughed in the dark. As happy as I was to have him back, I'd never wanted so badly to kill him!


	4. Dimmed Voices

RaeLyn: Sorry for the Hiatus! . Uh, please don't throw anything at me...I'M SORRY! I will attempt to keep these updates weekly.

Happy Homes and Shattered Flowers

Chapter 4: Dimmed Voices

Gilbert watched me sleep, I know. I could feel him. As much as I wanted to tell him to sleep, I know that he was just worried about me and planning our escape. I slept fitfully. My dreams were filled with terror and shadows. I really can't recall what happened just that it had to do with Gil.

I sprang awake. Even knowing that it was a dream it did not stop the foreboding feeling in the pit of my stomach. I looked around my room. Where was he? I sprang up to search my room more thoroughly and felt a pair of arms tighten around me.

"West?" a groggy voice asked, "What the hell are you doing up?"

I relaxed and turned over to face him. I let my eyes wander his face and memorize each feature. Somehow, this foreboding feeling would not leave me. I could not speak. I opened my mouth and the words would not escape. I wanted to tell him how scared I was. I wanted him to know that...that...

Gilbert raised an eyebrow, "Are you okay?"

I nodded and closed my mouth. Please, please...what ever this feeling is...please go away. I could feel sweat build up on my forehead and prickling at the corners of my eyes. My breathing was becoming labored. I reached out my arms and held on to Gilbert. My vision was beginning to swim and my stomach was tightening into knots.

~This could be the last time you see him, you know!~

I jerked at the sing-song voice that echoed through my head. I tried to blink. The last time I see...NO! I buried my face in his neck and sobbed. NO!

"O-oi, West! What's the matter? You know you can tell me." Gilbert's arms tightened around me and he pressed kisses to the top of my head.

No, Gilbert, I can't tell you. I don't want you to know of these traitorous thoughts. I just want you to know how scared I am. I want you to know that I would die without you. Please, don't leave me. Please..please...Gilbert...don't leave me...

~Look how much you worry him. Maybe it would be a good thing if you never saw him again, yes? Maybe, I should take him away, yes?~ The voice was taunting me. It sounded so happy but it was saying such malicious things.

I squeezed my eyes shut. I tried to calm down. Gilbert had taken to rubbing my back and singing softly. I tried to tell him. But in the end, my tears got the best of me. That and him rubbing my back, I fell into another fitful sleep..

When I woke up this time, Gilbert was sitting on the edge of the bed stroking my hair. I looked up at him. His red eyes looked dull and slightly swollen. "Bruder?"

"West? Are you okay?" His voice was a little hoarse. Had he been crying? Did I make him cry?

"Gilbert...I'm fine now. I-I am sorry about..." I trailed off, guilt kicking in. "Are you okay?"

Gilbert's hand stilled for a moment. A fleeting look danced across his features and disappeared. His hand began to move again, "Yes. I am awesome after all!"

I noticed that his voice lacked its usual confidence and energy. I noticed that his fingers trembled just a bit. He was looking down but not in my eyes. "Did...did I make you cry?"

"What! The awesome me does not cry!"

"I worried you? I am sorry, Gil. Please, forgive me."

"I told you, I was not crying! What do I need to be worried for?" There was a pause, " Anyway, West, it's time to get up." His hand retreated and he stood up turning away.

Sitting up, I was confused. Just last night, we talked of forgiveness and made happy plans. This morning, I had a night terror. And now, Gil was being distant. I dropped my head and pulled my hair. I did not understand. What was happening? Why was this happening?

~Ludwig? Ludwig? So he turned his back on you, yes? Is this what you can expect from him?~

It was that voice again. That one that taunted me earlier. I growled. "B-bruder?" My left hand released my hair to reach out to him.

Gil turned around. His eyes blank. "What?" He looked down at my hand and back at me. "You are not a child anymore. Why do you reach out for me? Do I look like a blanket to you?"

My eyes widened and my face flushed. What was this? He was never mean to me. Why? Why now? Was he still mad that I couldn't see him the other day? Hadn't I apologized? Hadn't he forgiven me? Hadn't we whispered into the night about spending the rest of forever together. "Gil?" I choked on my words.

He slapped my suspended hand out of the air. "Listen, Ludwig. The sooner you grow up the sooner you will see that I am not gonna take care of you forever! So WHAT THE FUCK IS IT?"

~He is angry? What could you have done, Ludwig? Maybe, I was right before. Shall I take him away from you? Keep him safe?~

"Why? Why are you doing this to me?" To whom, I was speaking I did not know. Was I talking to the taunting voice who dangled my fears in my face or to my brother who was behaving in ways that I'd never seen. I brought my reddened hand in front of my eyes.

Gilbert and the voice laughed in unison. Became one and separated again. "Because you must realize..."

~...the sooner you grow up...~

"The better off I will be..."

~...with out you and the sooner...~

"...you can start..."

~...to take responsibility for yourself.~

I dropped my hand and stared at my brother. He stood in front of the light and his face was obscured. I shook my head. This was not my brother. This...thing that stole his voice, his face, his body...was not him. I knew it wasn't. What was happening to me?

I turned my head and looked around. This wasn't my room. This place smelled of antiseptics and cleaning agents. The walls were a deep blue and there was a large cherry wood desk. Where am I? I rolled my head in the other direction. There was a plant and a mirror. I blinked. Where is this?

I faintly heard the scratching of a pen. I looked down at myself. Where is my shirt? Why am I wearing all white? I tried to get up but found my limbs heavy and unresponsive. Nausea settled in. My body, I realized, hurt. I groaned. My throat hurt. My eyes hurt.

I closed my eyes the light seemed to become brighter by the second. I opened my mouth. My lips were dry and crack upon opening. I winced at the sudden pain. I stuck my tongue out to wet my lips and was met with a copper taste. "P-please..." I coughed.

"Please what?" It was the voice again. I forced my eyes open. But they would not focus. The voice was right there! I could see it's outline. It leaned toward me. "Please what?" It was mocking me. I knew it was. I could tell.

"Where am I?" My voice was a little unstable and each word hurt more than the one before. I wanted to close my eyes, but I would not give this voice the satisfaction of seeing my weakness!

"You? Why, you are here!" There was amusement lacing its words. I glared in the direction of the voice. I could feel myself frowning. I really wanted to stop, I could feel the blood trickle.

"And where is here?" I asked making an effort to lace my word with as much venom as possible.

I felt something soft wipe my lips and cheek, "This looks painful, Ludwig. Is it?" The voice was gently cleaning my face. I tried to turn away. I didn't want to owe this thing any friendliness. It had already set the rules for us when it fucked with my head.

Unable to turn my head, I clenched my jaw briefly and restated my question, "Where is here?"

The voice sighed and pulled away from me. "Is it so important? Ludwig? I will take care of you. You must know that." It sounded lonely and hurt. For a moment, I felt like a total ass. I wanted to apologize. But why should I? I did not know where I was. This voice was messing with my head and skirting my questions.

I narrowed my eyes and followed its outline, "Yes, it is very much important. I don't know where I am or even who you are!" I managed to sound very indignant, despite the pain. I was proud of myself.

"Me? I am Ivan Braginsky, your therapist!" There was a small giggle to accompany this introduction. "And I will take very good care of you!" I could see the outline nod. As far as I knew, he was probably smiling too!

"Where is my brother, Dr. Braginsky?" I asked lowering my eyes. The light was beginning to give me a migraine.

"Call me Ivan, please! And, ah, hm, your brother?" I heard papers moving. I think he was looking through his clip board, "Gilbert?"

I nodded, "Yes, Gil. Where is he?"My voice was becoming weak. I felt my consciousness slipping. What was happening?

"Ah, he is not here right now! He is just outside. Are you tired, Ludwig?" Dr. Braginsky's outline leaned over me. "You look tired. Won't you sleep?"

"What's...hap...pening to...me?" It was becoming hard to form sentences.

"Well, last night we gave you a sedative in with your dinner, even though you ate very little, it worked very well! And well you were having issues earlier in this session so I administered another. Do not worry, I will take good care of you! Ufuu~!"

My eyes closed and against my will I lost consciousness.


End file.
